Communication

    “Communication is key.” This is a sentence often used by couples and the human race in general. This is true, but it is not the only truth. It is true that communication plays a giant role in any relationship, be it between parent, and child, siblings, significant others, and spouses but it is not the only factor in a successful relationship.

   

   What does the word influence mean? According to the dictionary one definition of influence is the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, and opinions of another or others. The influence of others affects our daily lives. I know for me my mother’s influence played a huge role in how I acted, behaved, or said to others. Parents hope all the time that they are a good influence on their kids. How does one become a good influencer? Communication. There are different forms of communication. My mother always used the example of pen pals or when people met each other at formal dances. She would always say if there was a spark between the two dance partners they would write each other and talk to each other through letters. Writing is one form of communication, but we don’t really write letters anymore.

  

   The most beneficial way of communicating in my opinion is face to face. When we have face to face talks it is easier to make plans, or explain things better. However, face to face conversations do have their own problems. One thing I did not know is when it comes to relaying a message to someone even face to face there can be misunderstandings. This is because when one person is relaying their message across to the other person only 14% of the message is heard using actual words, 35% of the message is heard by the tone of voice used, which leaves 51% of the message to be left to nonverbal communication.

   

    I think this is really interesting. A person only hears 14% of the words the other person is saying when they’re trying to communicate, that is not very much. The tone of voice someone uses counts for 35% of the total effectiveness of the message. Tone of voice played a giant role in my house as I was going up, it still does. Whenever I tried to talk to my mom if I became too upset or agitated because she was not understanding me she would put me in check by checking my tone of voice. Why is tone of voice so important when talking to others and trying to get a point across? When a couple explains things and talks in a reasonable tone they are more likely to listen to each other. When the couple start to raise their voices they start to become angry. When they are angry the message gets lost in the anger, hurtful things are said that can cause farther problems.

    It is important to know that when a person is angry 1/3 of the brain shuts down. The part of your brain that shuts down is responsible for reasoning and problem solving. This leaves 51% of a message to be interpreted through non-verbal communication, which in itself can be misleading and dangerous. Non-verbal communication can lead to the biggest misunderstandings. This is because when we are non-verbal the person we are talking to only has our actions and sometimes facial expressions to go off of. The person can misinterpret our actions or expressions as “I’ve made them angrier.” We need to be careful with our expressions and our actions.

    Consensus is coming to a shared agreement. Consensus is different from a compromise. A compromise is focused on one person getting as close to what they want individually instead of what’s better for the couple as a whole. When a couple come to a consensus they are in agreement with each other on a specific course of action or decision. They are focused on what will be best for them as a couple. Communication is important to all relationships. How one communicates is the most important. Remember to listen before you speak, use an effective tone of voice, and in this case your actions do speak louder than words.